My Story

I am a proud mother, blessed with two beautiful children. The birth of my second child, however, marked the onset of a challenging journey through postpartum depression, a shadow that loomed over me for two years. During this time, my dreams were put on hold as I prioritized the needs of my family above my own. Yet, a spark within me refused to be extinguished. I harbored a grand vision of making a positive impact in the world, a dream to empower women to embrace self-love. I believed that this personal transformation could create ripples of change, fostering a more compassionate world.

Life, however, seemed to have other plans. I found myself navigating a series of challenges - an unexpected pregnancy soon after marriage, the onset of a global pandemic, and the birth of my second child who had health issues. My own health soon deteriorated, and the shadow of depression cast a pall over our lives. I found myself shouldering the blame for everything that seemed to be going wrong, feeling as though the universe was conspiring against me.

My frustration morphed into anger, and then into a reactive rage. I found myself lashing out at my loved ones, unfairly blaming them for the life I felt was slipping away from me. I remembered the woman I once was - playful, fun-loving, someone who would seize the opportunity to run in the rain or lie on the grass to gaze at the stars. But I had become a mere echo of that person, trapped in a cycle of torment.

The free-spirited girl who once thrived within me seemed to have vanished, leaving me feeling alone and lost. I yearned for her return, struggling to reconcile with the person I had become. There were days when the urge to escape was overwhelming, to flee from my family and friends and start anew. The cries of my children felt like a cacophony in my head, threatening to shatter my sanity. My skin tingled with an unbearable sensation, as if electrical impulses were coursing through it. I felt like a ticking time bomb, desperately clinging to the fuse, knowing deep down that I didn't want to cause harm to my family. But sometimes, my resolve faltered. Like a volcano erupting uncontrollably, I would find myself screaming, shutting my daughter in the garage, and succumbing to tears. I berated myself, convinced that I was a terrible mother. This anger, this resentment, it was a mirror reflecting the pain I was inflicting upon myself. I was caught in a vicious cycle of self-blame and self-neglect, blind to the joy that still existed in my life.

Then, one day, amidst the chaos and the noise, I found a moment of silence. It was as if I had blacked out, and I saw myself and my situation from an outsider's perspective. 'Who is that person with my kids?' I wondered. It was as if, for a moment, my old self had returned and asked, 'What on earth are you doing?' Something stirred within me that day. I saw a woman who was more than just a mother or a wife. I saw a woman with dreams, passions, and a burning desire to make a difference in the world. I saw a woman who deserved to be seen, to be heard, to be valued. Perhaps it was the fear of not knowing how far my rage could take me, but I knew then that something had to change.

I realized that I did need to distance myself, not by fleeing, but through healing. So, I embarked on this journey the only way I knew how - through physical movement. My body no longer permitted me to run, so I turned to yoga. My first class back was on January 1st, 2022. I completed 108 sun salutations, my breath muffled by a mask, but the feeling of aliveness that coursed through me afterward was something I hadn't experienced in a long time. This marked the first day of my journey back to rediscovering and redefining myself.

As I embraced this newfound understanding of myself, I witnessed a transformation not just within me, but also in those around me. My relationships deepened, my children flourished, and my dreams, once distant and elusive, began to materialize. I realized that by honoring myself, I was better equipped to honor those I loved. By living my dreams, I was inspiring others to pursue theirs. By stepping into my power, I was creating a ripple effect of love and positivity that extended far beyond myself.

I revisited my desire to change the world and recognized the box I had been placed in, a box many women find themselves in. This box expects us to be the perfect mother and wife. The truth is, when I failed to honor myself, everyone around me suffered. This realization brought me sadness, but it also ignited a change. I decided to prioritize myself, to chase my entrepreneurial dreams. In doing so, I discovered that I became a better mother, a better wife, a better friend. I began to see the woman I was before I confined myself to that box.

Now, I guide other mothers who share a similar dream and who have also found themselves confined to that box. I show them how to harmonize their lives. I help them understand that life can be a symphony, and they can be the conductors. Life will never be perfectly balanced, but they can create the most beautiful music when each role, each note, is highlighted in its own time. When we, as individuals, live out our passions, we love deeper, give more freely, and live in abundance.

So, to all the mothers out there, don't worry. When you step out of your box, your beauty will radiate over your children. Each of your roles can complement and highlight the others. Join me on this journey. Let's redefine what it means to be a woman in today's world. Let's create a world where every woman feels empowered to live her dreams and create her own symphony of love and joyfulness.